(*As we used to say in New Jersey)


As a Registered Republican, I have an agonizing choice to make when I go behind the curtain of my local polling place in New Jersey.

You must be kidding, some of my readers are already wondering. How can you be a Republican? You’re so smart, so handsome…

As I’ve explained before, I am a Lincoln Republican.

I became a card-carrying member of the Republican Party back in the day when it as the Party of Lincoln. You know, as I explain to Millennials, the Gettysburg Address… The Civil War… Honest Abe.

Today it has become the party of Lincoln the Tunnel, the Car, and Donald Trump.

While we idealists have been dozing, we had become the party of rich people, regardless of race, creed or size of bank account; the party dedicated to making the rich richer; the party of killing affordable health insurance, and throwing 23 million under the bus; the party that is dedicated to making sure there is dirty water and bad air for all, by eliminating laws and rules protecting the environment because of government over-reach; the party whose titular leader has never met a foreign dictator or tyrant he doesn’t like, of not love; the party that supports a man whose policies benefit Trumpkind, instead of man or womankind….

None of these basic principles of the new Republican Party are carved in stone. It could get worse, depending on how people like me vote.

My Republican Party, I should point out, also was the party of Teddy Roosevelt, Wendell Willkie, and Dwight Eisenhower.

I am one of the three Republicans who still like Ike —or remember that he was the one who warned us about the dangers of the Military Industrial Complex which has seized control of the the party of my choice. Call me Mister Republican!

We also used to be the party that was hard on subversives in Washington. Sen. McCarthy became a household name, like Drano, looking for commie rats sleeping under our beds. The revered HUAC found and sent to jail the Hollywood Ten who made Commie propaganda films like “ Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo” and “A Guy Named Joe,” and soap operas riddled with leftist progressives, the worse/worst kind, who once attended a lecture on The Bill of Rights.

Little did those avid Red hunter Republicans dream there would be a potential communist cell in the Oval Office, led by Agent Orange, seven of whose members, already have been indicted or found guilty of lying to the FBI! Lock them all up, I say.

I tell you, it isn’t easy being a member of a party that attacks our allies (NATO and EU) and befriends our enemies (Putin); the party that has a president with the warmest relations with the Communists since FDR in the 1940’s (But there was a war on and they were our allies fighting the Nazis).

As I go to the polls tomorrow, I gather the major issue our party cares about, judging by the campaign rhetoric of the Current Resident or Occupant in the Oval Office, is that caravan.

You know, the mob financed by the Democrats, the migrant hordes who are moving toward our border with all due deliberate speed of lava flow that will ruin our American Way of Life in ways that need no explaining, such is the state of emigrephobia in our party today.

As soon as they rest up, have a meal or two and some bottled water, they will be invading our country. Fleeing starvation and death from violence in their native homelands, some may be looking for greener pastures as they vaya con dios el norte where the streets are paved with gold leaf.

There are men! in that mob, the president has warned us, all of who are potential rapists and drug lords. Not to mention women walking Norte for months so they can drop their potential babies off to be born as citizens.

These scum of the earth or whatever we Republicans call them, constitute such a threat to our security, our commander-in- chief has called in the troops, a 15,000 escalation so far.

We’ll be lucky if POTUS doesn’t exercise the nuclear option to protect our border.

Or will he wind up throwing rolls of paper towels at them, as he did for the suffering in the aftermath of the Puerto Rican hurricane?

We have some mean dudes to vote for on the Republican side of the ballot tomorrow.

Do I want to vote for any more Republican legislators who will support the economic policy enunciated by Speaker McConnell that the deficit caused by the tax cut for the rich can be reduced by trimming Medicare, Social Security and other entitlements such as food stamps for the poor?

It’s been hard enough to take lightly a juvenile delinquent trust fund baby who is an appallingly ignorant misogynist bigot, a racist, a fat slob and the man who is going to destroy a democracy that already made America great, as I’ve been accused by a reader who did not appreciate my being Mister Republican!

As I say, it will be an agonizing decision. But whichever way I go, I’m sure I will have done the right thing.



Marvin Kitman,
Nov. 6, 2018

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history.