“See something suspicious, say something,” the National Terror Alert campaign urges citizens.

We of the Justaminutemen organization (Est. 1969) have been seeing something suspicious in the way the Trump administration has been dealing with so-called possible Russian collusion in our internal affairs since 2016. We have been unduly alarmed about possible subversive activities, and began speaking up in the first of this three part public service series last week (Oct. 21, 2017).

If anyone who read our stirring call to action for the president to protect the Constitution against its enemies foreign and domestic didn’t make you want to kick a commie in the teeth, We the Justaminutemen think you must be 1) brain dead; 2) a Russian oligarch; 3) a member of the Trump family.

If the commander-in-chief, a great one, were asked to rate his response to what he calls “this Russian thing,” he undoubtedly would award himself a “10. On a scale of 10,” as he said during the Puerto Rico thing.

We Justaminutemen most respectfully disagree. On a scale of 100, it would still be exaggerating.

His response in the first nine months of his reign as the first totally inexperienced, unqualified, stupid, mentally unbalanced, real estate swindler as president in our history has been appalling, abysmal, frightening, disgusting and so sad. It’s been enough to make you either cry or puke.

Your Justaminutemen organization has done its civic duty and officially reported to the proper, or even improper, authorities the following suspects:

The president has gone on record, saying “ no collusion, no obstruction.”

As an industrial strength liar, who has never been known to tell the truth when a lie would suffice, it can be assumed, ipso facto, what he means to say is the reverse.

He can swear on a stack of real estate development brochures there is no collusion, but scholars of Trumpery speech know what he means to say actually is, yes, by god, he is a colluder, a proud red white and blue born in America colluder. So what?

How else can you explain why all of the president’s men and family members always seemed to be flying to Moscow in the early days of the campaign, as if Moscow is Paris or something.

We are talking about the peregrinations of Manafort, Stone, Carter Page, Gen. Flim Flam and others of that ilk. Not to mention his children, Trump Jr., his right hand son –in-law, and number one designated daughter who like the Romanoff children of Imperial Russia are in and out of their private little white dacha by the Potomac!

Why else would they all now be lawyering up if they weren’t colluding, even unbeknownst to the colluder-in-chief who was too busy getting angry on his Twitter and firing people, creating distractions so we could forget about the collusion thing.

Already there were reports in the fake news about the family being involved in big real estate projects behind the Iron Pyrite Curtain. Who knows if converting the Lubyanka—the popular name for the former headquarters of the KGB on Lubyanka Square in the Meshchansky District of Moscow, a neo-baroque 1897 building with a facade of yellow brick, where, it has been said, that from the basement on a clear day you could see Siberia—to a Trump Hotel and golf course would be possible without some friendly colluding?

Frankly, we of the Justaminutemen would prefer a no collusion presidency.

It’s not as if our friends, the Russians, respect our president, the first to speak fondly of a Russian leader since Franklin Roosevelt needed to be civil to Uncle Joe Stalin, as Churchill called him at Yalta, while knowing he was treacherous enough to slaughter millions of his own people before the Nazis.

Our president is what the Russians would call an

дурак [дура́к] {m}


idiot (also: birdbrain, chump, fool, half-wit)

—somebody who can be manipulated.

Uncle Vladimir and his gang of oligarchs still can’t believe their good luck in having such a goofy, malleable, misled, soft-headed pushover to negotiate with, a man they would throw in the gulag faster than you can say “Trotsky.” A man who hasn’t even read Classics Illustrated comic book edition of “The Communist Manifesto”!

But we digress. The three Congressional committees and the special counsel have already spent millions of rubles looking for a smoking gun, while the arsenal is ablaze.

We of the Justaminutemen fear they will find nothing amiss. And even if the collusion charge is as obvious to them as the long nose on the colluder-in-chief’s face, we are willing to bet a wooden kopek, he will be able to say on his Twitter account:

“No collusion. No obstruction of justice. All a fake news hoax. So sad.”

It is time, to stop, to use the lawyerly term, futzing around with due process. As our constitutional right to a free elections unhampered by domestic and foreign enemies are endangered in 2020 and beyond, because of what the nasty Rooskies learned in 2016, We the Justaminutemen are calling for the emergency invocation of the most feared legal weapon by subversive elements, the dreaded Smith Act.

(To be continued)



Marvin Kitman,
Oct. 25, 2017

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history.