Mussolini vs. Hitler
As you know, Trump won the debate. He told us that himself. And he had the polls to prove it; not only his Twitter account, but Facebook liked him a lot. “I aced it,” he told the cheering crowds, in effect. “Believe me, I was great.”
The debate opened up a can of worms in my circle. Who does the alleged winner of the first debate sound more like?
Some say, holding their noses, he is the new Mussolini? Or is it Hitler?
True, Donaldini jutting his jaw is pure il Duce. But only when anybody is criticizing him! He has a low threshold of pain. Anything less than unstinting praise affects his jaw.
He also looks like Mayor Giuliani speaking from the balcony at City Hall, waving his hands around like a traffic cop in the Via del Corso in Downtown Rome.
In the first debate of the season, there was the One-handed Karate Chop, inspired by kung fu movies; The Cobra; the Squeeze Box (aka Accordion), the killer Mufuletta and the indescribable Pasta e fagiloi. Kind of a pincer attack with fingers on each hand, involving the eyebrows, which seem to have a mind of their own, unconnected to the hair. You have to see it to believe it.
You should know that I am a leading authority, currently working on the definitive guide to “The Collected Great Non- verbal Speeches of Donald Trump,” aka The Handbook.
All in all, it was a great performance by the Donaldini. I gave it four fingers
I also can see the resemblance with Hitler.
It began with the convention and his acceptance speech, which looked like it was choreographed by Leni Riefenstahl.
His ability to tell lies would leave Dr. Josef Goebbels open mouthed. He will win the gold in any Olympic speed-lying contest.
Der Donald’s vision of America the Not So Beautiful today evokes the Weimar Republic in the dark days of the 1920s. His promise to make America great seems to be remarkably similar to the Little Corporal’s speeches in the 1932 Reichstag election, promising to make Germany great. Although Trump is said to keep a book of Hitler’s speeches by his bedside, I’m sure it’s just one of those coincidences that turn up in comparing the two believers in democratic process.
Watching Trump on he campaign trail, I can smell the beer hall atmosphere of early National Socialist Munich rallies. I need to force my right arm from not giving the stiff Seig heil, Der Donald salute.
Violence is also in the air at Trump rallies. He seems to encourage the beating up of protesters. “Be nice,” he says, in effect, asking for restraint. “Don’t hit them too hard.” His lawyers are on hand, he assures, and don’t worry about the court fines. Judging by the way he stiffs his workers, I wouldn’t bank on reimbursement.
What impresses me most about Der Donald’s army is the dedication of the 41% hard-core followers for whom their leader can do no wrong.
It doesn’t matter if they give him a bum mike, or the moderator asks biased questions or the fact-checkers run out of midnight oil keeping up with the flow of lies.
His troops are not bothered by his apparent ignorance of foreign affairs. While he is not a dumbkopf like What’s Aleppo Johnson, the Libertarian candidate, whom many millennials think is the coolest thing since the invention of the Samsung Galaxy Note 7 with the exploding battery.
I realize that may sound like praising with faint praise. But our Republican candidate can be very scary when you think of his non-verbal fingers on the Big Button.
It doesn’t seem to matter how many crazy ideas like dropping out of the deadbeat NATO, or taking all the oil out of Iraq as a way of defeating ISIS (Where are we going to put it? On the oil trains going back and forth through our suburban towns?)
It doesn’t seem to matter that he doesn’t pay taxes. That’s because he’s smart. What a lesson for future generations of dumb taxpayers.
The most awesome number to come out of the polling on the first debate is that so many of Der Donald’s faithful already believe the election is rigged. Even if he loses in November, according to one poll, only 21% said they would accept the election results. What will the other 79%, give or take Libertarian vote, have in mind?
It goes without saying the Electoral College is rigged. How else can you explain his loss?
With all the talk of rigging, I find myself wondering why nobody ever talks about the fact that casinos are rigged, and even in a business that is so blatantly rigged, the Donald failed, not once but twice?
Mussolini or Hitler?
It may be too close to call. Either way, the fact that Der Donald is still in the race for tyrant-in-chief keeps me awake at night.
I keep thinking I’m seeing scenes from the dark comedy classic “The Great Dictator” with Charlie Chaplin playing Donald Trump. I’d like to say “wake me up when it’s over.”
But it may be too late.
Sept. 30, 2016