Lock Her Him Up
When Herr Trump proclaims, as he has a tendency to do in his rallies, “Honestly, she should be locked up. Should be locked up, believe me.”
And the crowd, as it did in West Palm Beach, Fla. the other night, chants back, “ Lock her up. Lock her up.”
Yah, let’s lock her up, I find myself unconsciously repeating the Republican mantra. Lock her up!
Hold on a minute, I say to myself during the commercial break. What are we locking her up for exactly? What crime is der Donald citing for her incarceration?
Well, there is, of course, treason, as in Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi…Emails, emails, emails…The Iran nuclear deal swindle…The $450 million of their own money the administration gave back to the mullahs when the hostages were released.
And then there was all the failed litigation of the past against crooked Hillary’s crooked husband. She should be made to pay finally for Whitewatergate, Travelgate, Gategate. Somehow she must have been involved in the murder of her friend Deputy White House Counsel Vince Foster, even though it was ruled a suicide.
All of which, she was found guilty by the crooked media of the 1990’s. Somehow the media was anti-Clinton all those years, even though the crooked media is now said to be biased in favor of Clinton. Go know.
Crooked fact-checkers remind us that eight Congressional investigations found crooked Hillary not indictable. The FBI struck out on the email investigations, too.
She should be locked up anyway, I gather for all her crimes, including being a woman, one who has the chutzpah running for president.
I’m not even mentioning crooked Hillary being a secret Chicago Cubs’ fan. Carpetbagging New York senators from Illinois are required to love the Mets.
How long should she be locked up?
I’m no lawyer, but given the enormity and multiplicity of her rap sheet… I’d say 80-140 years.
“ Yah, that’s the ticket! the voice of Tommy Flanagan (Jon Lovitz), my guide in all matters of veracity, is telling me.
Sentences to be served consecutively! No reduction of sentence for good behavior! No pardon!
And she should be locked up in Guantanamo. They have some vacancies. Yet another reason not to close it down.
All else failing, we can always lock her up for being a congenital liar. Well, that’s a sword that can work both ways for a candidate who when his mouth is open he is lying.
Furthermore, while they are locking her up, they can be locking up all the women who are lying about the beloved faithful husband, and father of the decade, seeking to ruin his reputation with claims of being groped, barging into dressing room so he can assess the qualifications of Miss Teen America contestants before they get all dressed up in their bikinis.
What some people will do to get face time on cable TV news shows?
I asked an expert on what specific grounds we actually could lock crooked Hillary up for her life of crime, as the candidate and his rabid fans are recommending?
R. B. Bernstein is a Lecturer in Law and Political Science, Arps Honors Programs in Legal Studies, Colin Powell School for Civic and Global leadership, City College of New York, and author of numerous books, including “Thomas Jefferson,” “The Founding Fathers Reconsidered,” and a Bill of Rights scholar.
“Basically, I have no idea what the charges could be in locking her up,” Bernstein said.
The “lock her up” fans believe there must be something, some even low-grade federal law, careless use of documents, that sort of thing that would nail her, something they can pin on her that would hold up in a court of law. There must be something!
“For those who believe this,” Bernstein explained, “there is a terrible misunderstanding of the legal system. There has to be an actual crime, rather than just an alleged crime. There has to be an indictment, a crime proven beyond reasonable doubt. You can’t just lock her, or anybody, up. Otherwise, what you have is a lynch mob.”
And furthermore, in an obiter dictum, Bernstein explained, “We can’t lock him up, either, for calling for her imprisonment. The first amendment guarantees the right to be stupid.
“Neither is it a crime deluding your followers into believing in his lies. There is nothing in the Constitution banning lying.”
No laws! Bummer.
This is the problem being a nation governed by the Rule of Law. Sad.
We just have to accept the fact that we can’t lock up crooked Hillary for the crime of being Hillary.
And just hope that if Herr Trump wins on Nov. 8, they don’t lock me up for writing such a deplorable e-column.
Oct. 18, 2016