CAN 80 MILLION TWITTER FOLLOWERS BE WRONG?
Call it total fantasy, the product of being bored out of your cotton-pickin’ mind by what seems like the longest weekend in the history of mankind, the thrill of popping those Hydroxi pills the president was pushing long gone, whatever&mdash but let us assume in this hypothetical, as the law schools call them, that somehow Donald Trump loses the election in November!
It wasn’t enough that President Four More Years’ election strategy was to divide the country in time of crisis, rather than heal the wounds caused by multiple public health, economic and racial injustices that were polarizing the nation.
At every opportunity he used his leadership skills to pour oil on the racist fire in the heart of the American body politic, the true Eternal Flame. Instead of MAGA, the president did his darnedest promoting a policy of MAHA (Make America Hate Again).
And it was okay to lie, misrepresent, endorse fake conspiracies, falsely accuse a morning cable TV news show host of murder even though he was 800 miles away, and slander as many individuals and groups as necessary to achieve the noble goal of four more years.
It wasn’t enough risking his life by leaving his White House underground bunker to take a walk in a group of all-white officials in the middle of protests about systemic racism.
It wasn’t enough that he denounced the citizens exercising their constitutional right to assemble and express their opinions as thugs, terrorists, antifa scum.
Threatening protesters with vicious dogs and awesome weapons in his arsenal and reminding the demonstrators that looters face shooters was his idea of a policy of “dominant compassion.” One irresponsible fake news journalist, Don Lemon of CNN, called it “the stupidest thing he ever heard.” To be fair, it was only in the Top 40.
It wasn’t enough for President Rambo to hold up the bible Number one daughter Ivanka carried into battle in her $1.540 Max Mara bag, for a photo op on the church steps, a mission accomplished behind riot police firing such instruments of dominant compassion as rubber bullets, tear gas, flash-bangs, stun grenades, capsicum pepper spray, and bean-bag rounds. Restraint was shown by not deploying Mine Resistant Ambush Protected Vehicles, grenade launchers, bayonets, drones, silencers and long range acoustic devices (LRADs) available to law enforcement agencies from nearly half a billion dollars in military surplus, thanks to the Trump administration.
The clearing of the protesters by police, and a line of National Guard troops with choppers buzzing the crowd, the scene looked like a typical day in a Third World country’s democratic election campaign.
It wasn’t enough to call the coronavirus covid-19 in March no worse than the flu. As a man of science, he predicted it would be over by April. His rallying cry in the war against the virus— “Relax. I’m doing a great job. It will be over soon”—enshrines him in the annals of great war-time presidents, of which he claimed to be the greatest, even better than FDR.
I thought what Melania wrote, according to my sources, more inspiring: “We will fight it on the beaches, on the golf courses, in the bars of every family-owned Trump hotel and golf club…”
It wasn’t enough that his prediction in March that the12 cases would produce zero deaths was slightly off. By May the Trump Flu had killed over 100,000, more than the Vietnam and Korean Wars combined.
It wasn’t enough that President Bone Spurs was accused of lacking empathy. What people didn’t understand is that this president didn’t get out of bed for less than 500,000. 1.2 million you’re talking real pandemic.
It wasn’t enough he demonstrated national leadership by declaring public health crisis management the responsibility of state governors. Fortunately, with all the chaos of health supply shortages, President It’s Not My Fault had many to blame: CDC, WHO, the Chinese, Democratic state governors and Obama, of course, who left the cupboard bare.
It wasn’t enough that President Don’t Blame me was not wearing a mask, whatever Dr. Fauci said. Only left-leaning socialist losers wear masks. Hopefully, his followers at the coming campaign rallies will maintain safe distancing of six inches, the Trump rule.
So what if the unpatriotic disloyal fake news was portraying our commander in chief as a fat draft-dodging blundering idiot who doesn’t really seem to know what he is doing, other than firing the few remaining competent officials remaining in his administration such as inspector generals. He gives the impression of a rat frantically looking for a way out on a box with no exit.
Would it be enough that he had 80 million followers on Twitter listening to him sing the praises of what a great job he is doing combating all of the nation’s multiple perplexing problems?
In the unlikely event that all of those sweet nothings the greatest wartime president in our history is whispering in the ears of the 80 million are not enough, what will become of the late president? Will he, as his hero Gen. Douglas MacArthur suggested of old soldiers, just fade away?
Next: The rhetorical answer in Part II tomorrow.
June 16, 2020