Regular Trumponicles transmissions suspended due to the national emergency.
WAKE UP, AMERICA!
Fellow patriots, staunch Republicans, Real Americans who want the wall,
Some of us are saying Trump is the national emergency. Well, that’s easy for them to say.
The question now is what are you going to do about it, America?
Give them hell, I say.
Actually, I’m quoting an earlier president, Harry “Give’em hell” Truman. As the 33rd president explained, “I just tell the truth and the Republicans think it’s hell.”
That may be the wrong message for today’s emergency wake-up call. I may be a little confused from the lack of sleep.
I don’t know about you, but I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep since our president declared in his leisurely meandering state of national emergency message (2/15/19) caused by Congress not funding his pet wall, almost as an afterthought in what seemed more like a campaign rally. A second McDonald’s quarter pounder with cheese bacon and a cheesy bacon fries to go, thank you!
Central American hordes were massing at the border in my dreams, fighting to give us free drugs in the socialist state they will be voting for illegally, if not for the big beautiful wall that Mexico is paying for one way or other that will make our nation secure again.
Give them hell! I cry out in my nightmare, as the Central Americanos like sheep jump over the un- built wall. Numero uno… dos… tres… Thank the Floundering Fathers for giving us a self-acclaimed “Great American Hero” who is not afraid to see an emergency when others like my treasonous progressive friends see just another WMD (weapon of mass distraction).
I may have come down with borderphobia, a new condition psychobabblists will explain comes from watching and reading the president’s tweets on cable TV fake news, my most serious mental health issue since being afflicted with Brontephobia (fear of Charlotte, Anne and Emily Bronte).
I’m especially worried about the northern border. How can we trust the resolution of the “54-40 Fight” that President Polk negotiated with England in 1848, establishing the border of the Socialist People’s Republic of Oregon? The northern border with Canada today is as porous as a colander, allowing all that Polar Vortex cold air infiltrating our defenseless Northeast.
Look, even paranoids can have real enemies, as I have been reading in the authoritative “The Coward’s Almanac or The Yellow Pages,” a kind of Merck’s Manual for the field of things to worry about, which I (full disclosure) happened to edit. (Doubleday, 1975).
Would the leader of the most powerful nation on the planet lie to us?
Next question, please.
Do we trust our commander-in-chief to lead us in a war against, whatever?
Remind me again in which branch of the service he served in previous emergencies?
Should we be concerned that immediately after declaring the national emergency, the president jumped in his Air Force One puddle jumper and went off to play golf at his seemingly deserted command post at Mar-a-Largo, only 912 miles from the front.
Please, the man has a lot to prove. It’s very tiring work being president.
Anyway, as His Orangeness explained before the national emergency in responding to a press conference question about the border and his pet wall, “Everything is peachy dory.” No one can mix a metaphor, as it’s been said, better than our fifth- grade president.
In short, is the president pulling our chain?
Let’s stop with all the academic questions, any one of which would deserve a grant from The National Institute of Mental Health for further study.
It’s time America woke up! Consider this an official wake-up call!
Patriots, Republicans, Real Americans who believe if the president needs a pet, he should get a pet dog, and fellow concerned citizens!
It’s time for action!
Anyone in favor of a national emergency at the border, Honk twice.
Feb. 20, 2019