Kitman Defends His President:
A Fool’s Errand

Has it ever occurred to the traitors who are shlonging the president on the issue of collusion that he might not know what the term collusion, as in “no collusion, no obstruction of justice, investigate horrible Hillary,” actually means?

All the president’s enemies—and they are legion in the fake news biz, keeping “this Russian thing” on the front burner for months now, despite the president’s frank denials of whatever it is—are ignoring a number of mitigating factors.

First, there are the reports the president’s brain is missing. (See “Trumponicles” No. 4). The White House has neither confirmed nor denied the reports. Every morning around 3 AM, it is said, as the president clicks on his Twitter feed, it flies out a window, and was last seen circling around the FBI Building, heading towards Moscow.

There was talk among White House staffers of mounting an urgent search operation, but the consensus so far is since no one has noticed any differences in the presidential mental powers, it will only cause nation-wide panic.

Furthermore, the president was never much for reading dictionaries, or any other book. His favorite reading matter was the New York Post. Not all of it, just Page Six, and only the part with breaking news about his dates with starlets, even while his wife was giving birth.

He wasn’t what we would call an “Albert Einstein,” either, in his early school days in Queens.

Everybody knows what it meant when your parents sent you to military school. It’s what rich people did with “a difficult child,” including those who couldn’t cut it academically in public or private schools.

Young Trump might have been smart enough to become a general had he stuck to that line of work. Unfortunately, a heel spur led to five deferments during the Vietnam War. He couldn’t remember whether it was the left or right foot. So sad.

His claim to be so smart because he went to Wharton ignored the donations rich fathers might make to even the most prestigious Ivy League institutions greasing the admission path.

Let’s face it, Donald Trump isn’t as bright as you and me.

Actually, he may be just as stupid as he looks and sounds

Before I go on with this defense of our commander-in-chief, I would like to point out that George Bush the Dumb wasn’t a MENSA member. Ronald Reagan wasn’t a rocket scientist either. ,

While I am comparing with the greats, not since the later Reagan years, when the First Actor governed with the aid of his wife’s Hollywood astrologist, has there been such a loopy president who can take both sides of an argument on policy issues, often on the same day.

His problem may be that he still doesn’t believe he is president. Who can blame him? His election was as improbable if Porky Pig had won the nomination.

With or without a brain, our president has been discovering being president is a lot different than being a real estate development gonif.

Then he was a man who can fire anybody, a man who didn’t need to pay workers who build his monuments to Himself, a man who can fail running a casino, not once but twice, and still call himself a genius deal-maker, a man who can question the loyalty of those who don’t stand up and applaud every idea that ran through his hair, a man who can claim to be making America great again, when he meant to say making his family richer?

Now he has to govern!

But I digress. How is it possible that the Leader of the Free World (LFW) doesn’t seem to know the word collusion has nothing to do with colonoscopy? Or collusion is something that takes place in bait & switch marketing, or when drug companies collude to keep prices high in the free market?

Hasn’t any of his high-priced lawyers told him that by collusion the witch hunters conducting the hoax mean a secret agreement or cooperation, especially for an illegal or deceitful purposes, i.e. acting in collusion with the enemy.

With or without a brain, doesn’t he know that his best bud fellow democratic president Putin is a KGB killer? His idea of democracy is for opponents to accidentally throw themselves off a roof or drink poison?

Maybe he doesn’t know that the Communist billionaires his kids and others in the team that couldn’t shoot straight were taking meetings with before the election were communists, a system of government that controlled one third of the world and was planning to run the table?

By colluding they hoped to get the least qualified candidate in the history of our democratic institution elected as commander-in-chief of the greatest power in the free world! And even they were surprised at the outcome!

Could he possibly be lying about “no collusion,” it finally occurred to me?

He has been known to tell less than the truth. Every time he opens his mouth, by some scholars of veracity estimates.

I always like to give the benefit of the doubt, but not the doubt.

In the case of our president, maybe he is as mentally challenged as his presidential rhetoric attests.

Honk twice, if you think we should give him a break.

--
Marvin Kitman,
Feb. 9, 2018