Legendary Champion NASCAR and Supreme Court Driver Bart “Spuds” O’Kavanaugh Never Gets Tired of Winning

Legendary Champion NASCAR and Supreme Court Driver Bart “Spuds” O’Kavanaugh Never Gets Tired of Winning

Well, I did my best. Every night, as we waited for the results of the FBI speedy Investigations While-You-Wait, I poured beer on my Susan Collins voodoo doll while she was making up her mind.

Would she vote nyet on the Kavanaugh seat on the bench?

And why not?

As retired Justice John Paul Stevens argued, on the grounds of reasonable doubt, Judge Kavanaugh was not qualified to sit on the court. The very model of an Associate Justice, in the opinion of his rabbi, President Trump, Judge Kavanaugh was guilty of making injudicious, bombastic, Trump-like Twitterese sound bites at the hearings, revealing prejudices that would make it impossible for him to do the court’s work.

And what did the 2,400 law professors—signers of public letters judging negatively a jurist who ranted about “calculated and orchestrated political hits, fueled with apparent pent-up anger about President Trump and the 2016 election, fear that has been unfairly stoked about my judicial record, revenge on behalf of the Clintons and millions of dollars in money from outside left-wing opposition groups”—know?

Maybe it was the wrong brand of beer. Dilly…Dilly… or whatever the Honorable Senator from the Great State of Maine was drinking up there in the icebox of the Northeast. Maybe Coors, the really cold cold beer, as the idiotic commercials say.

While we of the gullible wing of the Republican Party we’re trying to figure out how the prototypical boy scout in his high school years, as he swore to the Torquemada of the airwaves (Martha MacCallum) on Fox News, led to his being drunk as a skunk, vomiting, passing out, whatever, which may or may not have led to an alleged rape attempt, kept her own counsel, gathering all the evidence in the glare of media coverage senators from Maine rarely get.

Like many gullible Registered Republicans, I hung by the thumbs all week. As Senator Collins goes, so goes the Supreme Court, possibly down the terlet, as arch-conservative spokesperson, Archie Bunker of Queens, used to say.

Wrestling with her conscience, the good guys in favor of preserving what was left of the sanctity of the highest court of the land lost the match, 1-0.

What had happened, the gullible members of the gullible wing of the electorate wanted to know? How was it possible that the distinguished legislator, the darling of the gullibles who was considered the leading moral force in the Congress, had voted for the choice of the first pussy-snatcher, a man with14 allegations of sexual assessment still waiting to be settled, possibly by the Supreme Court itself?

As she told the gullibles of the nation, regardless of party, creed or previous condition of appalling ignorance, in a 45-minute oration about the agony of victory, and the thrill of defeat: “What has happened to the presumption of innocence?”

I don’t know how to tell her this, but for the last three quarters of the century or so TV news coverage of alleged questionable activity the presumption is that a person is guilty until proven innocent.

In her concession speech as the moral conscience of the Senate, she explained there just wasn’t enough corroborative evidence in the quickie FBI supplemental for her. So what if we now have for the next 30 or 40 years a court that may or may not be tainted. She could proudly say in words, to the effect, “He is what he is.”

As Judge Kavanaugh, the Clydesdale of the all new, not improved, nine member Supreme Court— as you recall, Boss McConnell kept it at eight, betraying the Constitution’s “advise and consent” mandate blocking Obama appointee Judge Garland from taking what has become the Kavanaugh seat— a number of questions remain for this gullible member of the gullible wing of the Republican Party.

Why, for example, didn’t the gullible FBI talk to the 26 witnesses Dr. Ford’s lawyers had provided who might corroborate the professor’s allegations? Not to mention Counselor Avenetti’s stable of witnesses ready to testify under oath regarding his client’s infamous charges?

Furthermore, why hadn’t the bureau stumbled across any of the Kavanaugh apparent character defects during its previous six investigations as the alter boy of the year swiftly rose to the top of the Federal justice system like the cream in a bottle of spoiled whole milk? It’s not for nothing that we call it the Gullible Bureau of Investigation (GBI).

And speaking of gullibles, why hasn’t the fake news, as the president has made a synonym for responsible journalism, pursued its own investigations, finding out exactly what the Ford 26 had to say? What are those gullibles in the press waiting for?

We gullibles of the nation have a right to know what it was the GBI didn’t have time to unearth in its fast lane speedy drive-in- and-out probe?

It will be a comfort as we start on a journey in history that can be described as an experience like the way some Native Americans put their old people on an ice flow and let them just fade away.



Marvin Kitman,
Oct. 8, 2018

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history.