My President’s Day, Right or Wrong

…Mount Trumpmore…

I absolutely will not be celebrating Donald Trump’s birthday on Presidents Day today, or any other day, by Act of Congress, or Executive Order, so help me God.

If this be treason, let us make the most of it.

I came to this conclusion while spending the weekend pondering the meaning of this most sacred day in the canon of calendar patriotism, along with such causes of national celebration as Super Bowl Sunday and Golden Globes Night, so sad.

There is much confusion about whose birthday we are actually celebrating on so-called Presidents Day (or is it President’s Day)?

As an historian and the only living co-author of George Washington (see “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman, PFC, Ret.) I think it’s an outrage the way we are now forced to celebrate Gen. Washington’s Birthday on the third Monday of February, instead of his original natal day (Feb. 22).

An artifice concocted by the Congress back in the days (1968) when Congress did things before the invention of the do–nothing Congress, which judging by what it does today (a tax reform for the middle class which only benefits the rich) better to do nothing—Presidents Day was meant by legislators to celebrate the birthdays of all our chief executives.

Not as bad as chopping down the Washington Monument, perhaps, but parity is a slap in the face of our founding father, who is celebrating his 286th birthday this month.

As a people, we Americans are history-impaired. We know more about such historic figures as Lady Gaga and Snooki than our presidents. To the well informed in ye olde days, Washington’s birthday was a department store white sale or time to buy a previously owned (used) car.

Why bother knowing anything today about our history, when you can look it up on Google? Lumping the presidents together does not help.

The downgrading of the founding father to just another POTUS is especially scandalous, as we seem to be marking on a curve in the progression of our presidents. I mean, to go from a Washington to a Trump should be cause for alarm. Perhaps the revolution was premature?

A pillar of virtue and rectitude who is said to have never told a lie, Washington was first in war, first in peace and first in hearts of his countrymen, worthy of a singular day of veneration.

Trump, who by definition is also being celebrated this weekend, will be remembered as first in lying, first in emoluments, first in groping, first in number of wives and cheating on them while paying off strippers to keep their mouths shut, first in nepotism, first in having advisers without security clearances, and first in being a friend of the Russians.

I’m looking forward to a separate Trump Birthday celebration the weekend of June 14 in Moscow’s Red Square.

Does our President’s Day mean we are celebrating the birthday of George (Duh) Bush or Richard (I’m No Crook) Nixon? Call me a traitor for not applauding either of these great days in history.

And what about the other 41 presidents? John Adams (Oct. 30) or Martin Van Buren (Dec. 5)? Warren Harding (March 20)?

There are those who say ye olde original Washington’s Birthday was just a patriotic excuse for a three-day weekend.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, as social historian Jerry Seinfeld might put it.

The trouble with society today is there are not enough three-day weekends and too many five-day weeks. They make life bearable.

I, for one, wouldn’t mind celebrating Calvin Coolidge’s birthday with a three-day weekend. Our 30th president, Silent Cal understood what it was all about when he first said, “When more and more people are unable to find work, unemployment results.”

Like it or not, I won’t be surprised that before Trump is a blip in history, we will be standing up and saluting a huge military parade down Constitution Avenue, honoring the First Philanderer-in-Chief’s birthday with a three day weekend (put June 14 on your calendars).

Until then, a merry President’s Day to you, one and all.

30


 

--
Marvin Kitman,
Feb. 19, 2018
 

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history.