The Evil Twin Theory

The President and His Evil Twin

How lucky can a so-called president get?

In the indictment last week of 13 Soviet cyber warriors caught red-handed making the world safer for communist domination, Special Counsel Mueller documented the latest Marxist plot to tarnish our sacred free elections, the gold standard by which we judge the honesty and find lacking in so many Third World and other shithole countries, Trumpspeak, new to democracy.

Marx & his playboy co-author Engels, Lenin, Stalin, Alger Hiss, to name a few other luminaries, had failed to achieve what Vladimir the Great and his information war machine accomplished in 2016, a year that will live in infamy in American political history!

But no Americans were involved, our president joyously tweeted by dawn’s early light, the rockets red glare lighting up the sky of his mind.

And there was no touching!

He Who Was Not Named (HWWNN) saw the omission as a clear victory.

No collusion!

No obstruction of justice!

Just as he had been saying of “this Russian thing” for the last sixteen months about the hoax the fake media was using to cover up the Horrible Hillary loss.

The jury was in. The jury of one. Foreman Donald J. Trump read the indictment to his 48 million followers on Twitter: Not guilty… of whatever the charges might be.

As He Who Was Not Named told his coalition of the willing on Twitter that happy Saturday morning, he had been exonerated.

He had removed himself from under the cloud of suspicion, like the dark rain cloud that followed Joe Btfsplk in the “Li’l Abner” comic strips. Counselor Mueller had given him a free “Get Out of Jail” card.

HWWNN did everything that weekend but award himself the coveted Congressional Medal of Valor for dodging the bullet. He lived to lie another day. Hail to the chief!

It mattered not that the Mueller indictment covered one paragraph of a sad story. If I may mix a metaphor, and why not, it’s my ink and paper: it was the first shoe from Imelda Marcos’ shoe collection.

Like the alchemists of yore, President Small Hands had discovered the secret of turning dross (hoaxes, witch hunts) into gold.

Somehow he had ignored an alarming realization the Commies electionmongering in 2016 has made all future elections vulnerable. Our elections can no longer, a priori, be pure and trustworthy for the first time in our 229-year history.

His reaction to this awful predicament did not prevent him from playing an extra round of golf that weekend.

There was none of this Paul Revere riding around The Internet, warning the Roosians are coming; the Roosians are coming.

He was marching to a different glockenspiel.

As they say in the garment industry, there seems to be a pattern here:

Once again, his reaction to the Mueller indictments of the Red electionbusters was it’s all about me.

Me not guilty.

Me vindicated.

If his bluster causes some foreign power to accidentally drop a nuke on LA, his message to the nation will be:

It’s not my fault.

How does President Small Hands get away with it? How can he look at himself in the mirror?

My theory is there are two entities our so-called president serves as chief executive simultaneously.

There is his day job, serving as POTUS, which has been turned into a wholly owned subsidiary of Trump Inc. We the minority of the people elected him to steer the ship of state through perilous waters for four years, and he will faithfully serve in that capacity until impeached, 25th amendmented, either been institutionalized or resigned because he is getting too fat.

And then the more important organization he heads as CEO of Me Inc.

A constitutional monarchy, ruled by its founding father, Me Inc. treats the USA as another brand. It has the key and the password to the vaults at Fort Knox and is otherwise empowered to the run the country, a remit including making his rich friends richer, his poorer subjects poorer by cutting health insurance and food stamps, zeroing out social services, all the while securing the financial future of his children, as a good father should, even if it means violating the spirit of the emolument clause.

Me Inc is the evil twin, which explains the inexplicable about the Trump administration, so help us God!

As the two presidents try to keep afloat in the rising fetid waters of the swamp, already up to the chin, I am reminded of what the legendary Sidney Zion said whenever Trump the Younger was erupting in some way, making unpleasant waves in Gotham, “The problem with Donald is that he misses the restraining hand of Roy Cohn.”



Marvin Kitman,
Feb. 22, 2018

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history.